Defining Sex: An Analysis of Christina Greta’s Arguments

 

 

As Christina Greta rightly acknowledges, there is not a single definition of sex that satisfactorily captures every activity that universally counts or does not count as sex. In one of Greta’s definitions of the concept, she states that sex is “the conscious, consenting, mutually acknowledged pursuit of shared sexual pleasure” (6). She goes on to poke holes into this definition by citing examples of activities and behaviors that she considers as sex and that do not fit this definition. She also considers it as problematic for incorporating other activities that for her cannot count as sex. Consciousness, consent, and a mutual drive for pleasure emerge as the metrics that Greta employs in setting the boundaries for what may constitute sex. However, in examining the suitability of this definition, I will consider a story that examines the condition of consciousness in a bid to capture the problems exhibited in this definition. Based on the analysis, I determine that Greta’s definition, in this case, is too narrow in its attempt to describe what sex essentially means.

A few years ago, I went for a night out with a couple of my friends. After hours of wild partying, I told one of my friends to gather the crew and call a cab that would take us home since I did not think it was safe to drive though we had a car. She obliged and after a few minutes the cab came. As we prepared to leave, we realized that one of our friends, Grace, was missing. One of the waitresses told us that Grace left with a gentleman she had been dancing with and was probably at the parking lot. We all hurriedly headed there to check out only to find her lying on the bonnet of a car with her skirt pulled up. The dude was inside the car, probably looking for a condom, and when he saw us he came and explained to us that Grace had begged him to make love to her. Although she was obviously drunk, Grace confirmed this to us. The incident got me wondering whether or not what Grace had done constituted sex. Greta’s definition phenomenally shades some light on the incident.

While Grace was obviously drunk (unconscious), she had consented to having sex with the stranger. Being drunk may have made the decision unconscious, meaning that she may not have done the same when sober. Even so, it is obvious that there was some degree of consciousness in her actions. For instance, if she was totally unconscious, she could not have suggested that they get some privacy and even some protection. While Greta’s definition of sex may consider Grace’s experience as not constituting sex since she was not fully conscious of her actions as constituting to sex at the time, I find it insufficient when it comes to establishing what consciousness entails. Does being drunk to some extent imply that someone is “unconscious” of his or her actions and they cannot consent consciously to sex? If so, at what point did Grace stop being conscious and could the foreplay have counted as sex? Greta’s definition and the subsequent analysis of it do not consider the possibility that the degree of consciousness can vary with the level of intoxication and fails to offer satisfactory answers to these questions. Therefore, I find this particular definition that defines sex based on the indeterminate condition of consciousness to be too vague. 

                                         

A more comprehensive definition of sex is that sex constitutes all activities of physical intimacy that are consensual and aimed at the emotional and physical pleasure of at least one of the parties. This definition seeks to fill some of the conceptual gaps left by Greta’s definition by omitting controversial variables such as consciousness. For instance, since it is not possible to determine whether or not a person who engages in sex considers what they are doing as sex, it is not necessary to consider consciousness as a condition for sex. For instance, a definition that includes such a condition eliminates all sexual encounters that are triggered by intoxication of alcohol or any substance that may interfere with rationality. In my view, these activities count as sex. 

The definition I have proposed also avoids controversies emanating from considering mutual pleasure as a condition for an intimate experience to count as sex. For example, in instances whereby a person intending to derive physical or emotional pleasure from sex pays a sex worker for sex, it is certain that the latter is not driven by pursuit for pleasure but the need to get some money. Yet, this counts as sex. Therefore, even for the person who engages in sex for money, the activity counts since they agree to it and it involves physical intimacy. Consent, therefore, emerges as an important component of the definition of all sexual activities as it sets boundaries for activities that may be considered as coercion.

One of the major problems with my definition of sex is that it takes a narrow approach to the conceptualization of sex by using the term “physical intimacy.” Taking for example Greta’s experience as a nude dancer, it begs the question whether or not physical intimacy was possible in the instance whereby she and her client masturbated and had a pleasurable moment (8). Since there was a physical boundary between the two, physical intimacy could not have been possible. Therefore, what they did could only constitute emotional intimacy and judging from the sense that consent and pleasure were involved, the instance definitely may count as sex. Therefore, the definition I have suggested is insufficiently too narrow in conceptualizing the nature of the activities that may count as sex. 

Works Cited

Greta, Christina. “Are We Having Sex Now or What?” The Philosophy of Sex: Contemporary 

Readings, edited by Alan Soble, 4th ed., Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc., 2002, pp.3-8.

HOW TO RESTORE TRUST AFTER AN AFFAIR

Restoring the intimacy of a relationship after a case of unfaithfulness is a daunting affair. One of the most difficult conversations is apologizing to your partner and making things normal again. Unfaithfulness leads to the loss of trust and regaining the trust is always difficult. However, if you are truly sorry, molding the mind of a partner to make him or her to fully forgive you is achievable. For both men and women, this is one of the most difficult times of their lives and in which they become emotionally and psychologically disoriented. With the right approach, it is possible to mold the mind of your partner after an incidence of unfaithfulness. This way, you can salvage your relationship from imminent collapse.

Understanding the special needs of your partner at a time when they are suffering an emotional breakdown is crucial. This can enable you to provide him or her with the kind of emotional support that they require while at the same time being patient with him or her and giving her enough personal space. Besides showing them that you are truly remorseful for what you have done, you should also demonstrate that you have learned your lesson and that you really want to make things right. This is important in that it assures him or her that they are not at any risk of being hurt again.

One of the most effective approaches for talking your partner into forgiving you is assuring them that you will never cheat on them again. After all, it is the main reason things are not as they should be between the two of you. Showing remorse and accepting the mistake is the first step in the process. Most people often fail to succeed in restoring their shattered relationships by simply failing to acknowledge their faults. Giving unwarranted explanations and excuses may indicate that you are not truly remorseful and that you are trying to shift blame. The process also entails a commitment to keeping the promise by not repeating the same mistake again.

Your partner would definitely want reassurance that you have cut all communication with the man or woman you cheated on him or her with. Opening up is a great way of achieving this. To ensure that there are no secrets between you and your partner, you can prove to him or her that you no longer have anything to do with your ex-lover anymore. This way, they will focus their minds on restoring trust in you and completely forgiving you and moving on. Removing passwords from your phone or social media accounts can assure your partner that you are genuine about starting all over again.

After having an affair behind your partner’s back, you should be prepared to answer many questions so as to have him or her satisfied. In most cases, these questions might appear like nagging and you should answer them honestly and without displaying any form of impatience or lack of understanding. At times, your partner might ask the same question over and over meaning that she is not totally satisfied with the answer you provide. However, if the answer is honest, just keep on giving until he/she gets satisfied.  You should give your partner all the time in the world for him/her recovery and never complain when you think that he/she is taking long. Any attempt to do so implies that you are underestimating the magnitude of your actions and this might worsen the problem between the two of you.

Making a public apology is one of the best ways of assuring your man/woman that you have finally realized that you made a mistake. It also makes him/her aware that you are not afraid of publicly declaring your love for him/her. This can be achieved through sending a bouquet of flowers to his/her workplace or posting a lengthy apology on her Facebook wall. While this move is appropriate, it should be done sparingly to avoid appearing as if you are exposing your private issues to the public. Since you have the best knowledge of what your partner likes or dislikes, you can give it a try. If he/she prefers settling their private matters privately, then you should not attempt it. If your partner likes solving his/her personal issues privately, it is advisable to take him/her out to a private place. A serene public park would be the most preferred place since it would give him/her the peace of mind that he/she requires.

Unfaithfulness is regarded as the ultimate betrayal in a relationship. As such, you must fully understand that regaining the same level of trust from your partner may be difficult, though not impossible. At times, your partner may be emotionally disoriented to the extent that she can never recover on her own or even with your help. If this is the case, it is always good to seek the services of a relationship counselor. With the help of this professional, his/her mind can be molded to achieve the initial level of trust that he/she had in you before you cheated on him/her. It is, therefore, important to acknowledge when you are not able to fully handle the situation and when the services of a professional are needed.

Molding the mind of a loved one after the discovery of an affair so as to redeem the relationship requires a lot of patience. One should use the knowledge that they have about their partner to decide on the process that might work for them. The recovery process does not have a definite time and so one should portray the highest level of understanding. While some women may take a considerably shorter time to recover fully, others can even take years. The strategy employed by the man can determine the fate of the relationship. If the right steps are not taken, the woman might not recover and the relationship can be adversely affected. Acceptance and showing remorse are the most important steps that a man can take in a bid to redeem a relationship on the verge of collapse as a result of unfaithfulness. 

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU POST, IT MIGHT COST YOU YOUR DREAM JOB!

                           

A 2014 report by Jobvite reveals that 93% of human resources managers are likely to review the social media profile of a candidate as part of the recruitment criteria. Whether to get the job or not can be determined by a candidate’s social media use. Social media is increasingly becoming influential in almost every life aspect including a person's work life. As such, hiring managers are using it to get unique insights into a candidate’s private life.

The line between a person's professional and private lives is increasingly becoming blurred in the wake of social media. As a result, several important attributes of a person, which can be of great help to hiring managers, can be portrayed in social media. While some of the observations made can cost a candidate a potential job opportunity, others can be essential in enabling employers to reconsider their views following a candidate’s underperformance in an interview. The Jobvite report also establishes that 55% of hiring managers are likely to review an earlier decision on a given candidate based on what they find out on his or her social media profile.

                 

Certain personal attributes that should be considered in the hiring process can be more manifested on social media platforms than on any other life aspects. For instance, the ability of an individual to embrace diversity can be established by tracking the person’s activity on social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, among others. The posts, comments, and membership in social groups can be accurate indicators of the person’s ability to socialize with different people in real life. Almost every organization values employees who show extraordinary abilities to bond with each other, socialize with ease, and be active in group activities. As such, social media platforms can provide vital information to hiring managers about a candidate's unique abilities.

Social media can also provide useful information about a candidate’s undesirable qualities that might go undetected throughout the hiring process. For instance, mentions of illegal drug use in social media might indicate that the person abuses the said drugs in reality. The Jobvite report shows that about 83% of hiring managers claim that the mention of illegal drugs in a candidate's social media is a strong turn-off that can result in failure in a job interview. Other valuable information that recruiters might get from social media and that can result in disqualification includes explicit sexual posts, the mention of guns, and the abuse of alcohol.

                       

In the current age, the social media’s function extends from pure socialization to depicting a person's character. The information obtained from platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp, Instagram, Pinterest, etc is becoming increasing important to recruiters. In a bid to establish with certainty that the candidate who performs well in an interview is the best-suited person for the position, hiring managers tend to observe the candidate's social media activity. The nature of the posts, comments, and groups that a person joins on social media provides vital information about the person's desirable or undesirable qualities and can determine whether or not one gets a given job. 

DO NOT BLAME YOUR CREDIT CARD... YOU LACK BASIC VALUES!!!!

                                                        

Perhaps the most effective way of clearing the mounting hatred of credit cards is making it clear that not everyone needs a credit card. Like any other financial tool, a credit card in the wrong hands can prove to be financially detrimental. If you lack some personal qualities such as self-control, then credit is not your thing. Also, people who are striving to bring back their finances in control should also avoid credit cards.

 In order to reap the many benefits of credit cards and avoid the devastating implications of credit mismanagement, it is necessary for one to be ready to exercise some of the basic human values such as honesty and self -control. It is only when these values are not effectively practiced that credit card use can turn out into the nightmare of huge financial debts.

                         

Overspending can lead anyone into unimaginable financial debts. However, most of the people accusing credit cards of their current financial problems mostly confess to having lied about their incomes to get higher credit limits. That they even considered lying explains that it was their dishonesty that led to their problems. An honest card user would only require a limit that is within his or her means and will not have the problem of dealing with debts that exceed his/her financial capabilities. It is, in most cases, the personal values and skills of the credit card handler that determines his or her future financial situation after using the tool.

Credit cards offer some of the most lucrative benefits to their users and are definitely, not any sort of financial poison. Compared to other available existing options such as debit cards and cash, credit cards provide unmatched consumer protection. The ability to use the bank’s money in purchasing goods creates a buffer between the consumer’s money and the seller. As such, any problems that may arise in the process are handled by the credit card company on behalf of the consumer. In the case of debit cards and cash, this kind of protection does not exist and the consumer is, therefore, exposed to numerous risks such as fraud. For instance, the unauthorized use of a card does not lead to liability in the part of the consumer as it is often the case with debit cards. Making transactions using credit cards accords more power to the user in  case a problem arises in the future as opposed to other options such as debit and cash. Credit cards are in this case much safer to use online considering that the online market is growing every passing day.

While making huge purchases using credit cards, credit card transactions often extend the warranties of products past the time stipulated in the manufacturer’s warranty.  Other credit cards offer an extension to the purchase protection in case of any damages. The bank takes care of the extended protection and warranties and is responsible for making any compensation. 

Price protection is the other unique benefit that credit card users get.  For instance, in cases where the price reduces after the purchase has been made, the consumer benefits by getting a reduction or a refund equal to the extra costs.

Arguing that credit cards are responsible for the decline in personal savings among users is utterly wrong. This is because credit cards offer the consumer a reliable and accurate way of making an analysis of their spending at the end of the month so as to be able to point out possible areas where savings can be made. The process depends on the user’s ability to plan and follow budgets strictly. Self- discipline is essential for this to work out. Unfortunately, a majority of the people who cry foul lack these essential values that must accompany effective credit card use.

Making timely payments of the due charges also comes with many rewards such as cash-back, among many others. In addition, many credit card companies offer 0% introductory interest rates which last for a certain period. These added benefits encourage credit card users to make prompt repayments as they are not accessible to anyone who defaults the payments. The benefit of time-shifting using the credit card also offers consumers the benefit of redirecting their current financial resources to other responsibilities. Just like any other loan, the credit card user should be committed to repaying this favor with some interest.

                           

By not considering the many advantages offered by credit cards and instead focusing on the negative issues that can be avoided amounts to being biased. Credit cards should not be made liable for the financial problems experienced by the users, but the blame should fall squarely on the consumers for the choices they make. The benefits of some personal values and skills in financial management are obvious and instead of accusing the financial tools, these values should be taught in colleges to make people more responsible in their financial management. It is only after the useful values have been instilled to credit cards users that the benefits of these cards can be experienced by many.